email 4/19/10

I sure have been in New Haven for a long time. I've seen all the Yale students come and begin their year in the fall, and now they're all going home for the summer in a couple of weeks. They have been doing tours with the families of incoming yale freshman this last week, and it's been pretty funny to see all the newly accepted Yale students as well walking around campus with their parents. None of the new 'Yalies' with whom I've spoken are receptive to the gospel as of yet, probably because they just got accepted to Yale and so they are really full of themselves and boast in their own 'strength'.

New Haven is a completely different city during the spring and summer. All winter long, it was really dark and rainy, and there were no leaves/blossoms on the trees or plants. With the springtime bloom on the trees the city looks so much happier and full of life. It's especially been great since the weather has gotten warm enough that we can exercise outside in the mornings. There is a park up the street from our home where you can play basketball and tennis, and they have a really nice jogging trail through the thick, new england woods. Life is good.

We had some pretty crazy experiences this last week. We tracted into a rather large man from Puerto Rico who claimed to be a former rap artist until his schizophrenia and bipolar mood disorders caused him to lay low for a while. He invited us in, and we were attempting to teach him about the Restoration, but I gradually realized that he was on way too much medication to understand anything we were saying, nonetheless to pay attention for more than about 5 seconds at a time until he had to start talking about something else. We tried to wrap up the lesson nicely and leave him with a commitment, but as we were headed to the door he started begging to know how he could get baptized and become an elder like us. We explained very briefly the Gospel of Jesus Christ to him, but as we talked about repentance, he ripped his shirt off from his chest like Clark Kent revealing his Superman costume, and, tearing it in half, said, " I hate this shirt!". He was on too many crazy pills... We explained that we had to leave, and that we would give him a call, and we left as fast as we could. It was a pretty exciting experience. I think that we're going to avoid his neighborhood for a while.

All of our investigators made it to church on sunday, which is an unprecedented occurence, so I was pretty stoked yesterday. Veronica and her 9 year-old daughter Digna came to church again, and they are both really excited about getting baptized in the next couple of weeks. Veronica's husband still doesn't want to talk to us, and every time we're over there he's drunk, but I'm so impressed by the faith of Veronica. She's been true to her commitments, and really strong in the face of a lot of adversity. Her friends and family mock her faith and tell her that she's a boring person for not 'partying' with them every night, but she stays true to her testimony and faith in Jesus Christ. I really admire the faithfulness of many of the people I have met out here, members and non-members alike.

I've been recently impressed as I read from the Book of Enos in the Book of Mormon. Enos uses a lot of very descriptive and powerful words in recounting his experience. I'm running out of time to write this email, but I would admonish you to read the Book of Enos and pay special attention to the way he describes his prayer.

The next transfer cycle is in 2 weeks (May 2nd), and I fear that my time in New Haven may come to an end. I love this area, and I have had a lot of amazing experiences here. I really don't want to leave, but I'm also excited at the opportunity for change. We'll see how it goes.

I love you all so much! Thank you for your prayers!

           -Elder Shepherd

email 4/12/10

This week was full of surprises, and I'm grateful that most of them were pleasant ones. An investigator who we've been working with for a while called us out of nowhere this week and said, "I want to set a date for my baptism right now!"  We went to his house that evening and saw a real difference in his countenance. He has sincerely changed his desires and habits in recent weeks, and he's eager to finally take the next step in his progression. It was really cool to see how he has grown, and I look forward to the next coming weeks as we prepare for his baptism.

Elder Beals and I were tracting this week, and we were knocking on door in the second story of a 3-family home when we saw a woman and her daugher walking on the sidewalk across the street. I felt prompted and I said to my companion, "She really wants to talk with us-let's go!"  We left that door and quickly caught up with this woman and her 9 year old daughter. Even to my surprise, she was really excited to talk to us. She said that 8 years ago, when she lived in Ecuador, she had spoken with missionaries from our church and loved going to church, but she moved shortly thereafter to Connecticut, and lost contact with the church. She invited us into her home which was just on the corner to talk with her some more. We taught her about the Restoration of God's church on the earth. She said that she'd been looking for us, and that she believed the Book of Mormon to be true, and that she wants her and her daughter to be baptized. I was blown away. We taught her all last week, and she came to church yesterday with her 9-year old daughter. She's really intelligent and has been reading tons in the Book of Mormon with her daughter. I've never met someone who was SO prepared to learn, act, and commit themselves. We'll see how this continues to develop in the coming weeks.

So the results from the sleep doctor are in: the overnight study showed that I sleep perfectly fine at night. I fell asleep really fast and slept through the night. However, the daytime naps they had me take showed some interesting results. Regardless of the amount or quality of sleep I have at night, I'm really tired during the daytime. The studies showed that even after taking 4 30-minute naps at 2 hour intervals, I was still able to fall asleep in 1-2 minutes. Anyway, I think lots of missionaries have 'unexplainable daytime sleepiness' like I do, but they prescribed me some drug to help me stay awake called Dextro-amphetamine. This drug is commonly used to treat daytime sleepiness, narcolepsy, and ADHD. Anyway, I take 1 or 2 5mg pills in the morning and it gets me going all day long. They want me to try out this drug for a month or so to see how I react to the treatment. The first couple of days I took the amphetamine, I felt like I was bouncing off the walls. My companion actually commented on how much faster I was speaking and going. I have to be making conscious efforts to slow down my speaking and speak directly and coherently. The cool thing, however, is that whenever we sit down with someone to teach a lesson, all of the jitteriness and energy in me dissipates, and I am able to focus and teach by the spirit. I didn't even notice at first, but after a lesson my companion said, "Were you making a conscious effort to speak slow in the lesson?" I replied, "No... why? Did I speak too fast?" He said, "No, you were perfectly normal." I was eccentric just before going into the lesson, but it was as if I submitted to the spirit and went on 'autopilot'. All the lessons that I've taught since then have been exactly the same experience. I am convinced that God knows our situations and problems-He knows our struggles, and He knows how to help us. Even though I have to take these really stupid pills that get me excited, He has made up for my weakness and calmed my troubled mind in the moment that I need it most. Cool stuff, eh?

I am in love with my mission and the work I'm involved in. This is truly a great work, and I am a special witness of it's truthfulness. I know this church is true, and I know the Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins. He made possible the great Plan of Salvation, and He restored His church to the earth in it's fulness.

I love and miss you all,

       -Elder Shepherd

General Conference

email 4/5/10

Hello everyone!

I hope you all loved General Conference as much as I did. I wish I could take the time to tell you how much I learned and the many insights that I received from the spirit during the course of conference, but I don't have very much time at all to be writing this week. Sufficeth it to say that I'm grateful beyond measure to a loving Heavenly Father for my blessings and the abundance of His tender mercies.

Last week was REALLY REALLY RAINY, and there was a ton of flooding in Connecticut and Rhode Island. I had the craziest tracting experience of my life trying to proselyte in that rain. My companion and I got completely soaked, so we ran home, put our clothes in the dryer for 30 minutes, and ran back outside to work. The rain never let up, and the wind was really mean. Our umbrellas were completely useless to us-the only thing that they kepy dry was our head. Meanwhile, while we were battling the elements, these girls in the streets were yelling profanities at us, and people who drove by made sure that we knew what a wonderful day it was to be a missionary by splashing us with the filthy street water as they sped by in their cars and yelled at us. It's at times like these when you're level of 'christlike love' for all men is really tried; however, I'd read a verse in Acts that morning that gave me great comfort. Paul and Peter, after having been ridiculed, thrown into jail, released, and ridiculed again as they testified of Jesus Christ before the Sanhedrin said in verse 41 of the 5th chapter of Acts that they "departed from the presence of the council rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name." I felt good about my persecutions, and rejoiced that I was counted worthy to suffer shame in my service to the Master.

I'm out of time...

     I love you all so much!

           -Elder Shepherd

email 3/29/10

This week was really slow for missionary work. It rained a lot, so there wasn't very many people to talk to in the streets. Nobody seemed to open their doors to us this week either. In some ways it gets me really excited, because I know that this slump means that in the near future there will be a boost. We just have to work through the rain and the hard times, and find joy in the journey.

We still don't have any results from the sleep study. They never called me back, but I have an appointment with them again next tuesday, so we'll know by then.

A family I am teaching was trying to talk to their family in Ecuador via Web-Cam when we came over to teach them, and they were experiencing technical difficulties. They were extremely grateful when I used my 'skills' and fixed their web cam for them and set up their messenger. They were pretty receptive to our teaching after that. I guess you never know when some of your 'skills' will come in handy.

I am WAY excited for General Conference this weekend! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the spiritual high I get during and after the conference, and with prayerful preparation I'll find answers to my questions. What a marvelous opportunity we have to learn from and sit at the feet of Prophets and Apostles of Jesus Christ. This conference will be inspiring, and I know that we will all be edified and filled with the spirit as we receive the messages given by the Lord's authorized servants.

I got to teach the spanish sunday school class again yesterday. We discussed the Gift of the Holy Ghost, how we can recognize it's influence, and how we can make correct choices and be led by it's promptings. I was really impressed as several of the members shared their insights about the Holy Ghost and what having this gift truly meant to them. One woman stressed how she strives to make her home an environment where the spirit is ever present by listening to good music and 'unplugging' from worlds distractions. We talked about how the Holy Ghost speaks in 'susurros' (whispers) and is a 'suave' (smooth) voice, and how we must allow time for meditation and quiet in our lives. In this day and age, we're always plugged in to some device. TV, I-Pod, video games, radio, etc... we're constantly receiving an overload of information. With all the chaos and all the noise it makes it increasingly difficult for us to sense and heed the quiet promptings of the spirit. I can promise you that whatever it is that impedes you from feeling these promptings... it's not worth it. In our busy lives, we have to make difficult decisions as to how to use our time, but there should never exist conscious decisions on our part in the which we put spiritual matters as a secondary priority. Never! If we put in the first place the precepts of God we will see miracles in our lives. We will no longer be lost behind the excuse, "I don't have enough time" if we put the Kingdom of God first in our life. When there appears to not be sufficient time to do everything, we must give to God the place of first priority/highest importance in our lives.

I'm short on time and am running out of things to say, so I'll wrap this one up.

Much Love,

        -Elder Shepherd

Staying in New Haven!

email 3/22/10

Well, the verdict with transfers is that I'll be staying in New Haven with Elder Beals! This will be my 5th transfer in New Haven, which means that I've been here for 6 months already! It's still weird to think how long I've been here-partly because I've been in New Haven the whole time, so all the memories run together. New Haven is a great place, Elder Beals is a great companion, and I'm looking forward to 6 more weeks here.  No one in our foursome got transferred, so we're all pretty excited for this transfer.

Spring is finally hitting Connecticut, and I couldn't be more happy. This week it was warm enough that we had to take our jackets off (It's a nice change). The sun feels SO good-I feel like I haven't seen or felt the sun for 5 months. Spring has gotten my spirits up, and it shows as my enthusiasm for the work increases with the change in the weather. Our baptism for this week fell through-our investigator had some problems arise in his family this week, and he started smoking again. *sigh*... He felt really bad about it, though, and we're confident that with continued encouragement and time that he'll be ready for baptism in the near future. On the other hand, Alicia and Carlos, a couple that we've been teaching, finally decided to get married, which means that they will be married this month and baptized the following week. They were really prepared to hear the gospel, and it didn't take much effort at all on our part to help them make and keep commitments. Sometimes we have to give our investigators a little push and tons of encouragement before they'll finally commit to something-some actually catch on and just do it. It's refreshing to see people who set their minds on something and go for it. That's what we all need to do more of-set appropriate goals and go for it!

We had a spanish fireside yesterday that went really well. We've never had a fireside in spanish before in New haven, but we put a lot of work into it and had a decent turnout. A member from Bolivia spoke about holding to the iron rod, and then I spoke after him about keeping our covenants. It was the first time I'd ever spoken in spanish in front of a congregation, but I surprised myself at how natural it was. I feel pretty comfortable speaking to groups of people in english, but I thought it would be a whole lot different in spanish. It felt just like giving a lesson in sunday school or teaching a principle in a discussion, just with less audience participation. I stressed the eternal importance of our covenants and why we keep them, and I urged members read their scriptures daily, pray daily, and assist ALL their church meetings. We gave them calendars/charts to fill out to keep track of their daily and weekly commitments, and we'll be following through with all of them and how they're doing on their progress.

The sleep study was a pretty wild experience- it was really strange to be seperated from my companion for 24 hours. I was all alone in a 'hotel-like' room, with wires all over me. I took pictures of the wires and machines I was hooked up to-they're pretty awesome, I'll send some soon! The doctor who was hooking me up to all the wires had lots of good questions about the church, and we chatted about missionary work and the church for about 45 minutes as he connected me to all the wires (weird setting to do missionary work, but I've always said that it's only awkard if you make it awkward.) He was 58 years old and he'd just recently gone through his 2nd divorce so he also had questions regarding the emphasis that we place on families in the church. He was also puzzled why I chose to read a 'book' and didn't watch the large plasma screen TV in my bedroom during the hour of spare time I had before I went to bed. He didn't take a copy of the Book of Mormon I tried to give him, but I hope I planted a seed there. I slept there all night, and then spent all day the next day taking 30 minute naps every 2 hours. Rough life, huh? After the 3rd or 4th nap I just began to get groggy and lost all desire to sleep. We're still waiting to hear back from them about the results to the exam. Don't worry, it'll work out fine. No te preocupes.

There is no way to accurately describe where we must yet go as a church and in our own personal quests for perfection without creating a feeling of immense distance; however, I know that as we continually put our trust in the Lord we will be strengthened in our worthy endeavors. Feelings of inadequacy are perfectly normal, and for any honest, hard-working person they're common, but we must never let our burdens discourage us! Allow the Lord to work in you the change that you need, and be patient through your struggles to improve. Be more honest with yourself in regards to the blessings and strengths you've been given, and take a good look at how far you've already come on the road of life. Look hopefully and faithfully toward an uncertain future with the assurance that it will be a bright one.

I love you all!

       -Elder Shepherd

Sleep Study

email 3/15/10

I have my overnight sleep study tonight, so I'll spend the night at a sleep studies facility, and I'll remain there until around 5PM tomorrow, because they also want to me to take naps in certain intervals to measure my brain activity during those as well. It'll be a fun day. The weird part is that I can't have my companion with me, because I'm over 18. ( I don't know why there's that dumb rule.) Anyway, I'll have to go all by myself, without my companion, for a whole day. Scary! He'll be in a threesome with the english elders who live in our apartment for a day. Of course, I do get to sleep in a queen size bed with a plasma screen TV at my fingertips (Tempting as it may be, I don't think I'll be watching any TV.)

This week flew by. The other 3 elders got sick this week as well, so all 4 of us had some nasty virus. There were several days where we had to retire to our apartment early due to our sicknesses, but we still got a lot of work done despite the minor setback. It's a rocky situation with our baptism that was scheduled for this week. Carlos still really wants to get baptized, but his wife, who is a member, is convinced that he's not ready. It's an interesting situation, and we just want to do what's best for Carlos in the end. I've spent a lot of time praying for help and answers, hoping with all my might that in the end we'll do what's best and that the Lord will make His will manifest unto us. It's frustrating sometimes as missionaries, or even as hard-working members of the church, to see that our earnest efforts don't always yield the desired results. I've learned the lesson that we must account for the agency of all of God's children BEFORE we assess our role or adequacy in these efforts. Certainly, we desire their salvation out of a sincere love for those whom we serve; however, their decision in the end is their own problem, not ours. Being willing to submit our will to the Lord's means that we are happy and find fulfillment in doing our part and bringing to pass His will and work.

Neal A Maxwell advised in speaking to those who endeavor in the service of the Lord the following: "Now may I speak, not to the slackers in the Kingdom, but to those who carry their own load and more; not to those lulled into false security, but to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short...The first thing to be said of this feeling of inadequacy is that it is normal. There is no way the Church can honestly describe where we must yet go and what we must yet do without creating a sense of immense distance... The scriptural advice, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength” suggests paced progress, much as God used seven creative periods in preparing man and this earth. There is a difference, therefore, between being “anxiously engaged” and being over-anxious and thus underengaged. Yes, this is a gospel of grand expectations, but God’s grace is sufficient for each of us. Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage, and our personal progress should be yet another way we witness to the wonder of it all!" (P.S. you should read this talk for more awesome details: "Notwithstanding My Weakness" by Elder Neal A Maxwell)

Being patient with myself in my own personal progress is sometimes a great struggle, as I know it is with many of us, but I know that as we rely on God He can make our weaknesses become strengths.

I am happy in the Lord's service. I love you all, and thank you for the prayers.

              -Elder Shepherd

email 3/8/10

I had a cold this week, which really stinks when you're a missionary. You feel like garbage and you can't go out and work and give it your all. We still had a very successful week and got a lot accomplished despite that setback. If all continues to go well, we'll have a baptismal service this week for Carlos! (Pray for him! Please!)

My appointment with the sleep doctor is tomorrow, so I still don't have any details. The appointment tomorrow is only a consult for the overnight sleep study I'll have to do at a later date, so there still may be some time before we get down to the bottom of things.

One of our recent converts had the roughest week of her life this last week. Her family treats her terribly-they're always stone drunk when we go over there, and they harass Maralean about being a member of the church. Maralean's a single mother with 2 kids under the age of 5, and she can't move away from her family because her income won't support them if they move out. On top of things, her father, living in Puerto Rico, got shot on Tuesday and he died shortly thereafter. She was really depressed when we won't over to her house. Of course, everyone else in her family was just super drunk, drinking their problems and their lives away awaiting cirhosis of the liver. It's a tough situation. I was at a loss for words. I rarely ever am at a loss for words, but when she told me about all of it this week I just didn't know what to say. I didn't have anything clever or witty. All I could say was testify of the reality of our living Savior, Jesus Christ, and how He could help her bear her burdens. At times like that, it's sometimes difficult to be bold and testify amidst all of this darkness and suffering; but we can't abandon the things we know to be true just because the going gets tough, and we get a little bruised or battered along the way. At times like that it's more important than ever to stay close to the Savior and His teachings. If you find yourself in times of trouble, open your scriptures and get on your knees, and cast your burdens upon the Lord. Sometimes we have heavy weights to carry, but you don't have to carry it all by yourself.

Javier and Emalita, a couple with 2 daughters that we've been teaching, both still want to be baptized really badly. The only problem is that Javier still is hesitant about getting married. It doesn't make sense to me, seeing as they're living as if they were married right now. A legal document saying that you're married wouldn't change their living style or arrangement in the slightest. If anything were to change, it would improve their relationship in that they would be legally bound to one another and consequently more faithful. Emalita wants to get married, and she was really frustrated with Javier this last time we went over there. She asked several times, "What are you waiting for Javier?"  I'm convinced that they're just not communicating with one another very effectively, or that they never talk about these things when we're not in the home. So many problems can be solved simply by improved and increased communication inbetween parties. This principle is true for all of is in many aspects of our lives. Effective communication is key.

So, last night we were visiting Maria, a recent convert, and her husband Carlos. They had 3 or 4 other friends over at the time. The weather has been really good the past week in New Haven, and it feels like springtime. Anyway, Maria and Carlos bought a Barbeque Grill, and they were assembling with a couple of their friends when we came over. We helped them assemble it, and then they moved it into their house and hooked the propane up. I quickly advised them that using the barbeque indoors wasn't such a good idea considering the fumes and smoke it produces. I guess they didn't really think it through, seeing as they have never used a BBQ grill before. Good thing I was there-that could have been bad.

This week was great, and our spirits are up. The next transfer is on the 22nd of March, and I really don't want to leave New Haven. This is still my first area, but I've loved every minute of it here for the past 5 months.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I love you!

        -Elder Shepherd